Pokemon and the Holy Grail
by CassandraH18
Summary: In a joint HyperFairy, Wind Syren production, we have made "Pokemon and the Holy Grail" Rating for language.
1. Coconuts

HyperFairy: This will either be a total success...or things will blow up

Wind Syren: Yey!! BOOM!!

HyperFairy: Let's see...characters...

Wind Syren: Brock, Sabrina, Ash of course

HyperFairy:...check...Pokemon?

Wind Syren: Pikachu, Abra...Charizard...those egg ones for coconuts -eats more chocolate-

HyperFairy: Check. -watches an Exeggcute and Exeggutor run for cover- ...sanity?...Oh screw sanity -throws Sanity out the window-

Wind Syren: Bye bye Sanity!!

HyperFairy: Welcome to our-yet-to-be-named production of "POKEMON AND THE HOLY GRAIL!!"

Wind Syren: -clap clap- -giggles maniacally-

Ash: Can we have food now?

HyperFairy: In costume! Scene one is about to begin!!

Wind Syren: -puts lollipop in mouth- Come on, come on!

Ash: Hey!

HyperFairy: -sighs- Standard disclaimer: We don't own Pokemon, Holy Grail, or any other special guests.

Wind Syren: But I DO own my candy!...HEY, hold still! -loud thump-

Ash: Hey don't hit me, I'm putting on the costume!

HyperFairy: YES, this IS inspired by the story written by Shadow and her friends... although, I must wonder who had an easier time catching their characters...

Wind Syren: All done! Move on to make up now! NEXT!!

HyperFairy: -closes the curtains as screaming can be heard- Heh heh...enjoy.

--

-a lone figure can be seen coming up a misty hill, the sound of a proud horse echoing through the hills-

Meowth: -banging coconuts together- I was promised food!

Jessie: Coconuts ARE food.

Meowth: ...Oh yeah! -eats the coconuts-

Wind Syren: Hey! No eating while acting!

HyperFairy: -gives fresh coconuts- You eat, you go to Charizard

Meowth: -goes even whiter and continues to bang the coconuts-

-Ash rides up to a majestic castle, Meowth pulling out a trumpet and blowing into it-

Lance: Who goes there?

Ash: Tis I, Arthur, King of the Britons! We have ridden for many leagues and demand food and shelter for the night!

Lance: You've what? You're banging two coconuts together!

Ash: The Authoresses wouldn't spring for a couple Ponyta...

-loud thud is heard in the background-

Meowth: They're going to kill you...

Lance: Where did you find these coconuts?

Ash: What?

Lance: They're a tropical plant! This is a temperate zone!

Ash: The Spearow can fly with the seasons, but coconuts can not find their way to these lands?

Lance: But would the Spearow be able to carry these coconuts? When you think about their body sizes, they would not be able to.

Ash: Yet, but...

Lance: When you proportion their bodies to the coconuts...

Ash: No, what I'm saying is...

Lance: Maybe a Pidgeot would be able to do it...

Bruno: What if two Spearows carried it between them?

Ash: How? Gripping the husk?

Bruno: How else? Stringing it along on a line? What if it was a Spearow that evolved in mid-flight?

Lance: Then perhaps he would be able to, but we must consider-how far is this Spearow flying from?

Bruno: Kanto to Johto

Lance: Therefore he should be able to...

Ash: I got these coconuts from them...

Bruno and Lance: Them?!

Ash: Well, the Authoress...

Bruno: Well then, that explains everything! The Authoress...Nut cake...

-louder thump from backstage is heard-

Meowth: -looks around, panicking-

HyperFairy:...ummmm...the Fourth Wall has developed a small crack

Wind Syren: Yeah...Someone needs to check on it...oops.

HyperFairy:...Oops?

Wind Syren:...Technical difficulties...oww...my hand

HyperFairy:...Did Voltorb blow up?

Wind Syren: -giggles- I think so

HyperFairy: -sighs- I guess this scene is pretty much wrapped up. Come back for More!!... "Pokemon and the Holy Grail!!"

Wind Syren: Until next time...Oi, people, control your Pokemon!

HyperFairy: -closes the curtains-

Wind Syren: Ooohhh! Eevee!!

Gary: Hey!!

Hyper Fairy: No evolving Eevee! No torturing Eevee! Hugging Eevee...okay

Wind Syren: -giggling- Alright then!

HyperFairy: Next scene...BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!! Syren, find the Dittos!

Wind Syren: Okay!!...They're hiding from me...

Ash: I wonder why...

Hyper Fairy: Oh, Eevee! Can you be a sweetheart and find the Ditto?

Eevee: Eeeee

Wind Syren: Thank you Eevee- HEY, who took my lollipop?!

HyperFairy: Eevee as payment

Wind Syren:...okay...

HyperFairy: -bows and disappear in a flurry of rose petals-

Wind Syren: -waves enthusiastically then turns and runs backstage-


	2. Bring out your dead!

Disclaimer: Not ours...if it was...Don't think about it.

HyperFairy: Welcome back! As promised, this scene will be "BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!!"

Wind Syren: Let's get started! Actors, in place!

HyperFairy:...where are the actors?

Wind Syren: Good question... -runs back stage muffled yells- FOUND THEM!! -drags two behind her-

HyperFairy: James, check. You're the costumer. And Professor Oak, you're the dead man.

Wind Syren: We're missing Gary! runs -backstage again- Come on you're up!

HyperFairy: One mortician...check. Now we need two cart pullers.

Wind Syren: Cart pullers... Butch!

HyperFairy: Perfect -uses her Authoress powers to summon him-

Wind Syren: We need just one more...

HyperFairy: Why not Cassidy? -summons her too-

Wind Syren: -giggles- Okay!

HyperFairy: -gives them a warning look as they take a breath to do their speech- One peep, and I'll make you Jessie and James' servants

Butch and Cassidy: -turn pale and nod-

Wind Syren: Now you two are pulling the cart. Go to your positions.

HyperFairy: -bows and opens the curtains-

--

Gary: Bring out your dead! -ding- Bring out your dead! -ding- Bring out your dead! -ding- -meow-

Meowth: CAT ABUSE!!

HyperFairy: It's a toy cat

Meowth:...oh

Jessie: -as the old lady- But I wish it was Meowth

Gary: AHEM!! Bring out your dead! -ding- Bring out your dead! -ding- Bring out your dead!

-James walks out, carrying Professor Oak over his shoulder-

James: I've got one here

Oak: I'm not dead!

Gary: He says he's not dead

James: But he will be soon! He's very ill

Oak: I've gotten better!

James: No you haven't, you will be dead in a few days

Oak: But I am better

Gary: But he says...

James: Can you wait a few minutes?

Gary: Sorry, can't I've got to get to the Robinsons. They've lost nine this week alone.

James: When do you come around again?

Gary: Thursday

James: Can't you do anything... You know

Gary: -makes sure no one's looking and hits Oak as hard as he can-

James: There he's dead

Gary: Add him to the cart

-Ash and Meowth prance by-

James: I wonder who that was

Gary: The -forces himself to say it- King

James: How do you figure he's King?

Gary: He's the only one without shit all over him.

HyperFairy: -bows and closes curtains- A thank you to all the wonderful Ditto to played the dead bodies! Syren, the treats for the Ditto please?

Wind Syren: -walks out with a bag nearly as big as her- Over here Ditto -giggles-

HyperFairy: -gets out of the way as they squirm over to her- Next scene: Political Peasants! Jessie, James, you're up!


	3. Political Jessie

HyperFairy: -beats off Brock with a broom- Welcome! Act 3, Political Peasants! Pokemon and Monty Python doesn't belong to us.

Wind Syren: -giggling- Right then, let's begin

HyperFairy: -walks offstage, looking for her taser: Pervert strength-

Wind Syren: I think it's in the props room

HyperFairy: Thanks!

Wind Syren: -giggling- No problem!

--

Ash: -rides up to two old men- Old ma...Where's the old men?

Jessie: Woman! And I am not going into that mud!

James: Neither am I!

HyperFairy: ...I think Jessie just admitted she's old.

Jessie: I-no-I am not old

Wind Syren: Yeah you are...tee hee...And you are going in the mud! -runs out and pushes them in-

-both scream in agony-

Jessie: MY HAIR!! MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!!

Wind Syren: -giggling- It looks better now

Jessie: -glares at Ash- Who made you King!?

Ash: A hand rose from the water, and the beautiful Water Sisters -giggling can be heard from off stage- presented me with the sword, Excalibur, proclaiming me King of al Briton! That is why I am King!

Wind Syren: Aren't you from Japan?

Ash: Shut up! I am King and demand that you shut up!

Wind Syren: -glaring- Oh you! -hands hold her back as she tries to attack- Just you wait!

HyperFairy: -whispers- We'll slowly but steadily hide his food rations and give them to Pikachu

Wind Syren: -stops struggling and giggles- Okay!

Ash: -looks at them suspiciously- Old man?

James: Yes?

Ash: Not you! What Lord lives in yonder castle?

Jessie: We don't have a Lord! But if we did, it would have to be The Boss.

Ash: No Lord?

Jessie: Oh no. We run by a strict system of interconnecting levels, working with biweekly meetings to ensure our government runs smoothly!

Ash: Be quiet!

Jessie: And when that fails, we loot everything around...

Ash: I said be quiet!

Jessie: And then we have a delectable meal...

Ash: Enough!! PIKACHU!! I CHOOSE YOU!!

Pikachu: -looks over, sipping on a little umbrella drink with the other Pokemon, a look of "are you actually calling me out?" on his face- Pi?

Ash:...ah crap

Pikachu: -sighs- -zaps-

Ash: NOT ME PIKACHU, HER!!

HyperFairy: -winces- Metal DOES conduct electricity, right?

Wind Syren: Um...yeah it, um, does

HyperFairy: Due to BBQed Ash, we need to close this chapter abruptly early...CAN WE GET A CHANSEY OVER HERE?!...Come back next time for more "Pokemon and the Holy Grail"...NOW?!

Wind Syren: -stands over BBQed Ash- Oh my...- suppresses urge to giggle-

HyperFairy: -checks cast list- Gary, you've been temporarily upgraded from Lancelot to Arthur for the next scene

Gary: -glances at Ash- I'd rather not

Wind Syren: Too bad

HyperFairy: -hands him the still smoking Arthur costume and Wind Syren a box of Pocky-

Wind Syren: POCKY!!

Gary: -takes the costume and holds it in his hands- I really don't want to

Wind Syren: -Pocky sticking out of her mouth- Well, you have to, so suck it up

HyperFairy: -looks over the list, wearing a pair of professional looking glasses- Do it, or Brock gets the numbers of all your fangirls and I lock you in a closet with a hyper Wind Syren and a record of nothing by Caramelldansen

Wind Syren: YAY!! -pulls out another stick of Pocky-

Gary: -glances at Wind Syren -sweatdrops- Fine

HyperFairy: -pulls the curtains close and bows- As we set up for our next scene, please get yourselves some refreshments! -hears screaming and sighs- I can't say much about the cast, but no Pokemon were harmed during the making of this scene

Wind Syren:...HEY, just put the costume on!!

HyperFairy: -hands over her taser-

Wind Syren: -giggles- Okay, NOW put on your costume or...

Gary: Okay, okay, you don't need to...AHH!!

HyperFairy:...-inches away to check on the Fourth Wall- HEY!! Roark! I guess this Fourth Wall needs...-ducks as pieces smash-...help

Wind Syren: Roark? -peeks around curtains- SQUEE!!

HyperFairy:...Bye...

Wind Syren: Bye bye!! -chases Roark-


	4. The Black Knight!

HyperFairy: It's the one you've all been waiting for...THE BLACK KNIGHT!!...Pokemon and Monty Python not ours.

Wind Syren: -giggling- Where is he?

HyperFairy: -sighs and points to Brock- He's the only one big enough to wear the armor

Wind Syren: Okay! Come here, Brock!!

HyperFairy:...Did he just flinch?!

Wind Syren: I think so...

HyperFairy: -sighs and gives Syren an expresso- Get Gary and Brock into position

Wind Syren: -Thanks holds expresso and grabs Brock- Let's go...Gary, follow, or I won't give you your Pokemon back

Gary: NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Jessie: The girl is taking after us

Wind Syren: -giggles- Is that good or bad?

Hyper Fairy: The Pokemon just like you more. You give them Pocky.

Wind Syren: Yep

Gary: Isn't that bad for their diet?

Wind Syren: Nope. Now get into position!

HyperFairy: -stuffs Koga into the Green Knight armor- Dude, one word: Diet!

Wind Syren: -giggling- No more Pocky for you!

Koga: But I don't eat as much of it as you do

HyperFairy: Suck it up!...and suck it in...

Koga: -sigh-

Wind Syren: -giggles as she takes a sip of exprsso- Ready?

HyperFairy: Go!

Wind Syren: Everybody! The scene's beginning!

--

Koga: -fights the Black Knight as best as he can-

HyperFairy: -holding popcorn- Bet he slips a disk?

Wind Syren: Hmm... Maybe...

Koga: -screams in pain-

Brock:...Ummm...-stabs the blood packet in the suit, 'killing' the Green Knight-

-Gary and Meowth come alon-g

Gary: You fight with the strength of many men, Sir knight. I am Arthur, King of the Britons. -pause- I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to join me in my Court of Camelot. -pause- You have proved yourself worthy; will you join me? -pause- You make me sad. So be it. Come, Patsy.

Brock: None shall pass.

Gary: What?

Brock: None shall pass.

Gary: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir knight, but I must cross this bridge.

Brock: Then you shall die.

Gary: I command you as King of the Britons to stand aside!

Brock: I move for no man.

Gary:...-pulls out Nurse Joy who was treating Ash's wounds- Will you move for her?

Brock: OF COURSE!! -stand to the side, kneeling and presenting roses to Joy-

Joy: -giggles and crosses the bridge-

Ash: -attempts to follow but it stopped-

Brock: Ahem...Now, you shall die! -draws his sword and attacks-

Gary: So be it! -draws his own sword and blocks-

Brock: -stops and pauses- Um.. Authoress.. it says in the script I lose an arm?

HyperFairy: both arms and legs

Brock: -turns pale- Did we consider how to do that part?

HyperFairy: dummy doll and ketchup

Brock: Oh, okay..

-two of them fight-

HyperFairy: -pulls Brock back, quickly switching him with a doll pushes Brock back out, one arm in the suit, ketchup spurting out-

Gary: Now stand aside worthy adversary

Brock: -winces- Tis but a scratch

Jessie: A scratch?! You got your arm chopped off!

Brock: I've had worse

James: Liar!

Brock: Come on you pansy!

James: -runs out and lobes off the other arm of the dummy Black Knight-

Gary: Victory is mine! -kneels That is my merc...

Brock: -kicks Gary- come on

Gary: What? -gets up- Listen, you stupid bastard, you have no arms left!

Brock: Tis a flesh wound! -kicks Gary again- Chicken, chicken!

Gary: I have you're leg! Right! -cuts off the dummy's leg-

Brock: I'll do you for that!

Gary: What are you going to do, bleed on me?

Brock: I am invincible!

Gary: You really are loony.

Brock: The Black Knight always triumphs! attacks the best he can -dummy's other leg is chopped off-...Alright, we'll call it a draw

Gary: Come, Patsy. -rides away with Meowth-

Brock: Oh, oh, I see, running away then. You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!

HyperFairy: -drags Brock offstage- Syren, is Sabrina ready yet?

Wind Syren: Last I heard, she was sitting in her room in front of a mirror... I'll go see

HyperFairy: Don't get hurt!

Wind Syren: -giggles- I don't think she'll hurt me..

HF:...And Ash just has a few burns

Wind Syren: Oh.. Nurse Joy!! Could you please check on Ash? Or send Chansey..

Joy: -runs over to Ash-

Wind Syren: -knocks on door door creaks open- Hey Sabrina- AHHH don't throw things! Call your Kadabra off!!

HyperFairy:...Next scene... "WITCH, WITCH!!"

Wind Syren: We've got just about the perfect person for the part- AAHH

HyperFairy: -gives Kadabra chocolate and a back rub- Nice Kadabra

Wind Syren: -backs up slowly- Okay Sabrina, you're up next -winces- please get ready..

Sabrina: -glares-

Wind Syren: -winces and hides behind HyperFairy-

HyperFairy: -gives her chocolate too-

Wind Syren: Thanks you! takes nervous glance at Sabrina-

HyperFairy: See yah next time. -bows-

Wind Syren: -waves-


	5. WITCH!

HyperFairy: Welcome to Chapter 5... "WITCH!!"

Wind Syren: -peeking around curtains- everyone ready?!

HyperFairy: They had better be

PuppetMaster: ...why is everything on the refreshments table gone?

HyperFairy: Probably Syren and the Ditto

Wind Syren : -giggles- Hey, I've had my pocky all day... though those mini cakes were good...

HyperFairy:...Right... Anyway, we have a special guest helping us write today! Apparently I'm losing control of what little sanity we have... Although I'm sure I punted it in Chapter one... hears the Fourth Wall crack

PuppetMaster: Say hello to the backup sanity!...MEOWTH, drop the catnip NOW!!

HyperFairy: -flips through her Authoress notebook- We don't need him to the end of the scene. Syren, Sabrina ready yet?

Wind Syren: She should be. -looks behind curtain- Hey Sabrina, are you ready -winces- ok, ok, get into position

PuppetMaster: Who else is on today's cast list?

HyperFairy: -pushing up glasses- Sabrina, Meowth, Ash, not until the end of the scene... Bedemir is Gary... Villagers are James, Brock and Koga... Syren, leave Roark alone... and a duck

PuppetMaster: ...We might need another duck, then

Wind Syren: What about Abra?

HyperFairy: What do you mean ANOTHER duck? Isn't Psyduck here?... ABRA, YES, PERFECT!!... Less likely chance of psychic disaster

PuppetMaster: He called in sick with the bird flu

HyperFairy: -eye twitches- I'll bird flu him... -hands him the notebook and disappears-

PuppetMaster: ...he's gonna end up roast duck, isn't he?

Wind Syren: -giggles- Maybe

-Psyduck flies across stage-

PuppetMaster: ...okay, more like a projectile

Wind Syren: -runs out with arms stretched out-

HyperFairy: -comes back out, smoothing her skirt and straightening her glasses, taking back the notebook- We will now begin... "WITCH!!" -snaps her fingers, disappearing into rose petals-

--

James, Brock, Koga: A witch, a witch, A witch. We've got a witch! A witch!

James: We have a witch, might we burn her?

Brock, Koga: Burn her! Burn!

Gary: How do you know she is a witch?

Koga: She looks like one

Gary: Bring her forward

Sabrina: I'm not a witch.. I'm not a witch!!

Gary: B-b-but you are dressed as one

Sabrina: -glare becomes more fierce- They dressed me like this...

PuppetMaster: -runs after Psyduck as he tries to run for the exit, glad to not be seeing her glare

Wind Syren: -shivers and takes a step back

HyperFairy: -walks over to Sabrina, whispering something to her before walking back-

Crowd: No, we didn't... No

PuppetMaster: -puts a collar on Psyduck and ties the other end to a table leg-

Sabrina: And this isn't my nose. It's a false one. -teeth grit-

Gary: Well?

James: Well, we did the nose.

Gary: The nose?

James: And the hat- but she is a witch!

Crowd: Burn her! Witch! Witch! Burn her!

Gary: Did you dress her up like this?

Koga: No, no... no... gulps yes. Yes, yes, a bit, a bit

James: She has got a wart -winces at Sabrina's glare-

Gary: What makes you think she's a witch?

Brock: Well, she turned me into a doll!

Gary: A doll?

PuppetMaster: ...-looks at the script-

Brock: I got better

Koga: Burn her anyway!

James: Burn her! Burn!

HyperFairy: In this play the script is the guideline

PuppetMaster: ah, I see

Wind Syren: -giggles-

HyperFairy: Sanity is scared of us

Wind Syren: More like terrified

PuppetMaster: I should have known, since I haven't seen it since I got within 200 feet of here

HyperFairy: -gives a smirk that has Sabrina afraid- It is leaning its place

PuppetMaster: well, don't let me undo all your hard work...James, Koga, Gary, Brock! No slacking! You've got a scene to finish!

Gary: Quiet, quiet. QUIET, YOU WORTHLESS SCUM!!

James. Brock Koga: -all fall silent-

Gary: -very calmly- There are ways of telling whether she is a witch

Crowd: -eagerly- There are? What are they?

Gary: Tell me. What do you do with witches?

Koga: Burn!

Crowd: Burn, burn them up!

James: More witches!

Brock: Wood!

Gary: So why do witches burn?

Brock: ...because...they're made of wood?

Gary: Good!

Crowd: Oh yeah, yeah...

Gary: So how do we tell whether she is made of wood...

James: Build a bridge out of her

Gary: Aah, but can you not also build bridges out of stone?

Koga: Oh, yeah

Gary: Does wood sink in water?

James: No, no.

Brock: It floats! It floats!

James: Throw her in the pond!

Crowd: The pond!!

Gary: What else floats in water?

James: Bread!

Koga: Apples!

Brock: Very small rocks!

James: Cider!

Koga: Great gravy!

James: Cherries!

Koga: Mud!

Brock: Churches -- churches!

Koga: Lead -- lead!

Gary: alright, enough already!

Ash: A Psyduck

Crowd: Ohhh!

Gary: Exactly! So, logically...,

James: If...she weighs the same as a Psyduck, she's made of wood

Gary: And therefore--?

James: A witch!

Gary: We shall use my larger scales!

PuppetMaster: -unties Psyduck and prepares to give him a hard kick before he runs onto the stage- good Psyduck

Gary: -grabs Psyduck and places him in the scale- -Yelling- Remove the supports!

-whop- -creak- PSY!!

Crowd: A WITCH, A WITCH!!

Sabrina: -eyes very narrowed- It's a fair cop

Crowd: Burn her! Burn! -chases Sabrina-

Gary: Who are you, so very wise in the ways of science?

Ash: I am Arthur, King of the Britons.

Gary: My liege! -vomits in his mouth slightly-

Arthur: Good Sir knight, will you come with me to Camelot, and join us at the Round Table?

Gary: My liege! -blinks- I would be honoured!

Ash: What is your name?

Gary: Bedemir, my liege

Ash: Then I dub you Sir Bedemir, Knight of the Round Table

HyperSprite: The wise Sir Bedemir was the first to join King Arthur's knights, but other illustrious names were soon to follow: Sir Launcelot the Brave -LT. SURGE- Sir Galahad the Pure -BROCK-; and Sir Robin the Not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Launcelot who had nearly fought the Dragon of Agnor, who had nearly stood up to the vicious Chicken of Bristol and who had personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon Hill -JAMES-; and the aptly named Sir Not-appearing-in-this-film -ROARK... Syren, let him go! Together they formed a band whose names and deeds were to be retold throughout the centuries, the Knights of the Round Table. Scene WITCH is DONE!! Sabrina, get the make-up off

Wind Syren: -Edging off to chase- Roark Think she's angry?

HyperSprite: NOOOOO!! Never!

PuppetMaster: -sighs and spots Psyduck sneaking towards the exit- Oh no you don't!

HyperFairy: Give him a treat!

PuppetMaster: -pulls out a treat and dangles it right in front of Psyduck-

HyperFairy: No teasing! We need them to like us!

PuppetMaster: -sighs- fine...take all the fun away... -gives Psyduck the treat and locks the exit-

Wind Syren: -giggles- We need to be nice to them.

HyperFairy: Or else... They have powers.

Wind Syren: edging away Special powers

HyperFairy: We're just Authoresses

PuppetMaster: I've got better odds of using power than Psyduck does... -looks down as Psyduck glares at him, and slowly backs away-

HyperFairy: THAT'S why we don't tease them

Wind Syren: .. Remember what happens when a Psyduck's headache gets bad...

PuppetMaster:...-heads to the opposite side of the stage-

HyperFairy: -hugs Psyduck and gives him a cupcake-

PuppetMaster: -eye twitches as Psyduck sticks his tongue out at him- ...stupid bird

Wind Syren: Aww...

HyperFairy: Jealous?

PuppetMaster: Not really. I've just got this strong craving for ROAST DUCK

Wind Syren : No!!

PuppetMaster: it's either roast duck or I go on a Timmy's run for donuts

HyperFairy: Go to Starbucks, and go get donuts

PuppetMaster: ...I'm getting both of you coffee, aren't I?

HyperFairy: Yep

Wind Syren: -giggles- Yey!

HyperFairy: -puts down Psyduck- And four boxes of Timbits for the Pokemon -aside- I am sure that some of you get that.

James/Brock/Koga/Ash: don't forget about us!

HyperFairy: glares You have your ramen!

Wind Syren: Yeah!

HyperFairy: And the sandwiches

James: but it's not the same

HyperFairy: -eyes narrow dangerously- You will survive.

James: -runs away-

HyperFairy: Come back next time for "Spam-a-Lot"... May skip that one... That and/or a combination of "God's Quest"


	6. Pikachu's Quest

Disclaimer: Not ours…

HyperFairy:...Due to a herd of Psyduck... the set for Spam-a-Lot was destroyed

PuppetMaster: ...May I PLEASE exterminate them? That set cost us a lot!!

Wind Syren: No hurting the pokemon!

HyperFairy: Unless YOU want to get hurt

PuppetMaster: Fine, fine...stupid ducks...

HyperFairy: Besides... We don't pay for anything

Wind Syren: -giggles- That's right.. We get the sets... from... someone...

PuppetMaster: ...Why do I not like the sound of that?

HyperFairy: We get the trainers to pay

Ash: I still say you should chip in!

HyperFairy: -glares- Do we feed you? Clothe you? Put a roof over your head?

Ash:...-hangs his head and heads to the back-

PuppetMaster: at least the others are smart enough to keep quiet...PSYDUCK, STEP AWAY FROM THE SET!!

Psyduck: Psy!!

PuppetMaster: I swear, Wobbuffets are less trouble than Psyducks

HyperFairy: -winces as the Fourth Wall cracks- Wrong timeline

PuppetMaster: ...ugh

Wind Syren: Um... should someone go check on that?

HyperFairy: Nah. I leave it alone until it breaks, than we get a new one

Wind Syren : -giggles- -puts a lollipoop on mouth- Okay! Hurry! Actors!

PuppetMaster: So who's on the cast list today?

HyperFairy: ...Right... Um... Ash... James, Gary, Lt. Surge... Brock

PuppetMaster: YES!! No Psyduck!!

Wind Syren: -runs backstage to check on actors-

HyperFairy: We DO need a God though... All who vote Pikachu?

PuppetMaster: -raises hand-

HyperFairy: All who vote Psyduck?

Wind Syren: -returns, looking thoughtful-

PuppetMaster: Not by a long shot

Wind Syren: Psyduck could fit

PuppetMaster: No Psyduck!!

HyperFairy: Pikachu is cuter though... No offense Psyduck, but from a purely logical and fan-based point of view, Pikachu draws more readers

PuppetMaster: Yes!

Wind Syren: Ok. Pikachu? Will you come here?

Pika: -runs over- Chu?

PuppetMaster: How would you like to play the role of God in this scene?

Pika: O.O PI, PI!!

HyperFairy: Wonderful... Now we need a voice over...

Wind Syren: -snickers-

PuppetMaster: ...what?

HyperFairy: -gives him a script- Voice over

PuppetMaster:...-takes the script- something told me this was gonna happen sooner or later

HyperFairy: Suck it up. Scene 7, God's Quest... Begin!

--

Pikachu: Pii! Pika. Pika. Chu. Pikachu pika! Pi. Chu pika pika. Pikachu!...

PuppetMaster: Arthur! Arthur, King of the Britons! Oh, don't grovel! If there's one thing I can't stand, it's people groveling.

Ash: Sorry--

Pikachu: Pika!! Pi pikachu, pika, "pichu", pika, "pika pika", chu... PIKACHU!?

PuppetMaster: And don't apologize. Every time I try to talk to someone it's "sorry this" and "forgive me that" and "I'm not worthy". What are you doing now!?

Ash: I'm averting my eyes, oh Lord

Pikachu: Chu! Pika pika, pikachu, pi, pikachu chu

PuppetMaster: Well, don't. It's like those miserable Psalms - they're so depressing. Now knock it off!

Ash: Yes, Lord

Pikachu: Pikachu... Pikachu... Pika, pikachu, chu chu pikachu. Pikachu chu chu pi. pika

PuppetMaster: Right! Arthur, King of the Britons - your Knights of the Round Table shall have a task to make them an example in these dark times

Ash: Good idea, oh Lord!

Pikachu: Pikachu!! Pika, pikachu. Pika pi, pikachu. Pika, pi, pikachu, pika.

PuppetMaster: 'Course it's a good idea! Behold! Arthur, this is the Holy Grail. Look well, Arthur, for it is your sacred task to seek this Grail. That is your purpose, Arthur - the Quest for the Holy Grail

Ash: A blessing!

Brock: A blessing from the Lord!

Lt. Surge: God be praised!

PuppetMaster: annnnnnnnnnnnnd...cut! that's a wrap!

HyperFairy: -glances at him-

PuppetMaster: we need to get ready for the next scene. You know, costume changes and all that

HyperFairy:...Yeah... The French Knights

Wind Syren: Ohh!! Who'll they be?

HyperFairy: -flips though her book- ...That note... is eaten

Wind Syren: Oh? By who?

PuppetMaster: ...PSYDUCK!!

Wind Syren: Oh my...

HyperFairy: Default says you two do it

PuppetMaster: ...what?

HyperFairy: -nods-

Wind Syren: Us?

HyperFairy: You two

PuppetMaster: You are NOT sticking me with a fake French accent!

Wind Syren: What about Fantina, she's French?

HyperFairy:...Fantina? Which world is she from?

Wind Syren: She's a sinnoh gym leader and… Oh oh...

HyperFairy: Wrong world... Screw it, special guest appearance

Wind Syren: Yay!! Roark! Help me find Fantina!

HyperFairy: -gets out of the way- I need a drink

PuppetMaster: -looks at HyperFairy- what is it with Syren and Roark?

HyperFairy: Her crush

Wind Syren: Hey!

HyperFairy: Am I wrong?

Wind Syren: Not quite...

PuppetMaster: -laughs and grabs a drink-

Wind Syren: -glances around-

HyperFairy: The cast ran away for feeding

PuppetMaster: -sighs- that's the problem with actors. They need food

Wind Syren: Don't we need food?

PuppetMaster: yeah, but we can wait until we're done. They have no control...hey, where's my drink?

HyperFairy: -finishes it-

PuppetMaster: -eye twitch-

Wind Syren: -grabs a drink- I'm down to my last lollipop. Ash, get me some… Oh, and pocky too!

Ash: ...-looks over at the other actors- who votes against getting Syren more candy?

HyperFairy: Who wants to be written into a yaoi lemon with Professor Oak?

Ash: -is gone to the candy store next second-

Wind Syren: -bursts into laughter-

PuppetMaster: Now THAT's motivation

HyperFairy: -nods-

Wind Syren: He ran so fast he dropped his hat

HyperFairy: BURN IT

PuppetMaster: -laughs-

Wind Syren: -giggles- Oh, Charizard!

Ash: Don't even think about it!

Wind Syren: Oh you're back?

Ash: -tosses her the lollipops and pocky-

Wind Syren: Thanks you!

PuppetMaster: ...-looks at HyperFairy and Wind Syren- I wonder what we else we can get him to do

HyperFairy: -smirks-

Ash: -eyes widen and runs-

PuppetMaster: He forgot his hat again

HyperFairy: -gives it to Charizard-

Wind Syren: -stand back and watches with a smile-

Ash: -runs back over, grabs it from Charizard, and runs away-

PuppetMaster: runs over and gets his laptop as Psyduck appears-

Wind Syren: Someone get a pokeball

PuppetMaster: -pulls out a pokeball-

Misty: IT CATCHES ITSELF!!

PuppetMaster: -jumps- where did she come from!?

Wind Syren: -struggling to hold squirming Psyduck- I think she was backstage-… oh Psyduck stop that

Misty -walks out, grabs Psyduck, and drags it away-

Wind Syren: -flattens out ruffled skirt- So that takes care of that

PuppetMaster: Good thing. He was getting on my nerves

HyperFairy: -sighs- Bye bye, until THE FRENCH KNIGHTS

Wind Syren: -waves then runs backstage-

HyperFairy: -winks and disappears in rose petals-

PuppetMaster: -looks down, spotting a Psyduck knawing on a corner of his laptop- YOU STUPID DUCK!! -chases it backstage-


	7. Psyduck, and Shinigami and Roark, OH MY

Disclaimer: Not ours!...neither are Shinigami

HyperFairy: WE'RE BAAAAAAAACK

Wind Syren: -winks- Hey people!

PuppetMaster: hello!...-looks at his laptop, seeing bite marks in one corner of it, and eye starts twitching-...duck...

HyperFairy: Ignore it. Sorry for the delay in updates but school...issues -eye twitches- came up, and had to be dealt with

PuppetMaster: I can think of something else that has to be dealt with now -heads backstage-

HyperFairy: GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!!!!....-looks at the notebook- AND THE DUCK

Wind Syren: -frowning- .. Maybe I should...

HyperFairy: Go get Fantina

Wind Syren: -hits forehead in salute- Aye

PuppetMaster: -can be heard backstage, yelling something about Psyduck trying to eat his laptop-

HyperFairy: -has a drink and goes backstage, dragging PuppetMaster out by his collar and Psyduck out by the tail-

PuppetMaster:-glares at Psyduck- are you absolutely sure we can't cook him?

Wind Syren: You can't cook a pokemon!

PuppetMaster: Then feed him to Gyarados or something

HyperFaiey: -looks over, ice in her eyes- Costume, on, now. Psyduck's too. Not on set in five minutes, and the Gyarados gets your laptop

Wind Syren: Found Fantina!

Fantina: Allo everyone, I am here for ze zcene

HyperFairy: Get her in costume. If she's not on in five minutes, PuppetMaster's laptop gets eaten

PuppetMaster: O.O Fantina, MOVE IT!!!

Fantina: I am not rushed

PuppetMaster: ...-eye twitches erratically-

Fantina: -ignores him, inspecting her nails-

PuppetMaster: -eye twitches more- -in a very forced calm tone- Fantina, if you value your looks, you'll get on stage now...please

Fantina: -sighs and goes onstage in her normal clothes, getting into position-

HyperFairy: TWO MINUTES

Wind Syren: -running- Oi! Let's move people!

PuppetMaster: -quickly grabs his laptop as Psyduck is about start knawing on it, resisting the urge to kick him- so, who's on the cast list today?

HyperFairy: The normal Knights. Fantina's the lead French Knight, and you and Psyduck are the Knights behind the rampart laughing

PuppetMaster: sweet, onstage appearance!...wait a minute...I have to work with that!? -points at Psyduck-

HyperFairy: -nods-

PuppetMaster: -puts his laptop in a vault and puts the vault in a bigger vault-

Wind Syren: .. that's not completely safe

PuppetMaster: ducks have no teeth, no way is it gonna chew through that

HyperFairy: -reading- Psyduck eggs were in it

Wind Syren:... Psyduck is also psychic

PuppetMaster: O.O -quickly opens both vault and pulls his laptop out and checks it- ...they ate the network card! stupid ducks!

HyperFairy: -looks over- Oh looky, they think you're their mommy.

PuppetMaster: ...huh? -looks down, seeing the Psyduck hatchlings around his feet-

Wind Syrn: Squee!!! Baby Psyduck!!

PuppetMaster:...maybe I'll be able to train them not to attack my laptop...unlike one certain dimwitted duck

Ash: -through a growling stomach- Aww, c'mon! We need the money from this scene for food!

Wind Syren: What happened to all the money you've earned so far?

HyperFairy: Spam-a-lot

Ash: That and James lost the rest at the slots

Jessie: Again

James: I was so sure I'd win this time!

Ash: You say that every time!

Jessie:...You don't even travel with us

Meowth: You guys are so bad at money management. I, at least, have something.

Misty: That coin on your head doesn't count!

Meowth: I wasn't talking about that

Ash: You only have money because you hid your money from James

Meowth: Yes... that's right...

HyperFairy: -sighs and gives the baby Psyduck food- What a neglectful mother you have

PuppetMaster: Hey! I don't know where the Pokemon food is kept

Wind Syren: Aww.. You just admitted to being their mother

HyperFairy: -laughs-

PuppetMaster:...

Wind Syren: -giggles-

PuppetMaster: ...not helping, Syren

HyperFairy: You do care for them

Wind Syren: Alright, alright I'm sorry

PuppetMaster: ...fine, fine, I do, but only because they haven't tried to go after my laptop. the whole vault thing is my mistake, since I put it in there

HyperFairy: I'm docking their food from your pay

PuppetMaster: Why not the actors? That's what we always do

Ash: Hey!

HyperFairy: -pushes up her glasses, looking like a female Kyoya Ohtori- (fans of Ouran High School Host Club should get that) Because I am about business, and this chapter is getting none done. You hatched the Psyduck, the cause of the lack of business, therefore you will take the responsibility and punishment

PuppetMaster:...fine

HyperFairy: -smiles sweetly and writes in the notebook-

PuppetMaster: How much is this gonna cost me anyway?

HyperFairy: $500 a month

Wind Syren: -calls from backstage- Oooh that's a lot

HyperFairy: They eat a lot as babies!....and growing up!

Wind Syren: -still backstage- Ohhh

HyperFairy:....What are you doing?

-Door slams-

Wind Syren: -runs back- Nothing...

-loud bangs and yelling can be heard from the cleaning closet-

HyperFairy:...Let Roark out

Wind Syren: -does her best puppy dog eyes- But... he'll get away...

PuppetMaster: Can he survive in there?

HyperFairy: With air and food

Wind Syren:.. oooh.. I left some in there for him..

PuppetMaster: ...is it just me, or do you treat him a bit like a pet?

HyperFairy: He is

PuppetMaster: Poor guy

Wind Syren: Aww... I wouldn't say that.. I mean, he is a human being...

HyperFairy: -blinks and looks at her, honestly worries- Do you have the vampire in there too?

Wind Syren: -blinks- I hadn't thought of bringing him over

HyperFairy: O.O DON'T!!

Wind Syren: Aww... ok... -sniff- If I let Roark out, will you make sure he doesn't run away??

HyperFairy: fine

Wind Syren: Yay!! -runs back, unlocks door, drags Roark to the stage-

HyperFairy: -tosses the script again and finds a drink-

Wind Syren: -suddenly has unknown bottle of alcohol in her hand-

HyperFairy: -grabs it and wanders backstage-

PuppetMaster: -sighs, drinking a latté-

Wind Syren: -glances at Roark-

Roark: O.O

PuppetMaster: -shakes his head- oh, by the way, HyperFairy, with the Psyduck expenses now, how much will I have left over?

HyperFairy: ....enough for basic meals

PuppetMaster: So...about the same as the actors

HyperFairy: Yep

PuppetMaster: That's just degrading

HyperFairy: I could give you nothing

PuppetMaster: No, no, that won't be necessary!

HyperFairy: I thought not...where'd my notebook go?

PuppetMaster: ...Psyduck!

HyperFairy: -runs back out- PSYDUCK HAS THE DEATH NOTE?!?!

PuppetMaster: who else would be stupid enough to take it?

HyperFairy: O.O Sy, explain to him what the Death Note is!!! -runs to look for Psyduck-

Wind Syren: The Death Note is quite literally what it's name means - if you write someone's name in the Death Note, that person will die.

PuppetMaster: O.O -starts running around, looking for Psyduck-

Wind Syren: -glances at Roark, then starts running, pulling him after her- Wait, HyperFairy, if you have a Death Note, who's your Shinigami?

HyperFairy: -in a low voice- I am my own Shinigami

PuppetMaster: what's a Shinigami?

HyperFairy: A death god

PuppetMaster: oh...-opens his laptop and googles it-

HyperFairy/Shinigami: This chapter will now end -laughs manically

PuppetMaster: ...-shuts down his laptop and heads backstage, the baby Psyducks following behind him-

Wind Syren: -reappears, pulling tired looking Roark, waves, then runs backstage-


End file.
